i am enough from meredith winn

May 10, 2012

this girl, she is reflections in windows.

getting lost then being found.

what is normal is awkwardness, the sometimes bitterness.

the habit that returns in love.

 

this girl, she is holding hands on the coast of maine.

nuzzling beards, undressing insecurity, devouring artistry.

sometimes ragged. sometimes hollow-eyed.

she is acceptance of ordinary.

 

this girl, she is climbing trees.

she is laughter believing in love again

after years of being nowhere.

 

this girl, she is

returning

awakening

quickening.

 

this girl, she is groovy music.

barefoot in prose.

forever cultivating grace.

 

this girl, she is simply returning to who she always was but once forgotten, relieved to be awake if for nothing else but the fluttering of heartbeats.

 

***

 

I am enough.

Thoughts become things.

 

I am enough now. Although, there was a time when I didn’t believe it.

Not wholeheartedly at least. Sure, I said it aloud as if to coax myself into believing the words that fell from my mouth like loose teeth. I was a little girl for a long time, lost in my mind, wanting to be grown up but not quite sure I got the same instruction manual as everyone else.

 

I remember when Tracey opened this space for words, and all the women and strengths that poured through here… I read each one wondering why my own words weren’t coming.

 

Be gentle with yourself.

 

I was looking at my light. I was pining for it, off in the distance I could see it. But I had not stepped into my light yet.

 

I am enough.

I learned it through my camera lens.

Photography taught me to see myself.

 

I believe it now. From the soles of my feet to the greying hairs on my head. And whether it comes from fires that we walk through or if it arrives with age or circumstance or positive reinforcements shouting their love… I am enough.

 

Right here. Right now.

I am enough.

 

This shyness. This struggle with voice. This motherloss. This grief…

I am enough.

This co-parenting, this blended family, this newness…. I am enough.

This passion, this career, this vision I see… I am enough.

 

I am.

 

***

Meredith Winn weaves stories from truth and optical illusions from images. She is a freelance writer and photographer living in New England. Meredith co-founded NOW YOU Workshops alongside fellow Shutter Sister Kristin Zechinelli. Together they share a passion to give women back the control in the battle of self-image. Through the process of self portraiture, we come away with images to remind us the beauty of seeing… and being seen. Summer session for NOW YOU :: The Beginning 6 week e-course opens June 1. It’s Kristin and Meredith’s hope that by participating in the Now You Workshops, you will explore who you are in this moment, who you once were… and who you are on the verge of becoming. As women, we are all these pieces of self. NOW is the time to embrace it.


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