06 Aug a hazy kind of clarity
Being clear doesn’t always have to mean crystal. Things don’t have to gleam or sparkle. Clarity can come in a warm yet hazy shape-shifting glow and still be clear enough. There’s a reassurance I have found in this idea. I’m realizing too that being in a really good place doesn’t mean you are going to feel good all the time. It’s just not natural and it’s a ridiculous expectation.
Life is made up of shadow and light and that goes the same for our own inner-workings. We have our own personal, internal ups and downs. That’s just the way it goes. The comfort comes in knowing that we can relax into our downs as much as we can ride high on our ups.
I read a wonderful post over at Jen Lee’s blog about the beauty and importance of waiting for our laundry to dry. About how being being quiet isn’t being absent. In fact, it’s about being present. And then, if that wasn’t enough, five minutes later I opened my torn and tattered copy of Simple Abundance and read the excerpt for today called The Gift of Sacred Idleness.
When I feel like I do right now, the only thing to do is…nothing. All I can do is give myself some time to rebound from a busy (albeit wonderful) family vacation. Rest some. Wait some. Read some. Sip tea some. And then see how I feel tomorrow.
Sarah Ban Breathnach said it perfectly,
“…when I sat down, all I could bring myself to do was sit quietly and breath slowly. I didn’t want to meditate, have an authentic conversation with anyone, think, create, be clever or be a conduit. So I just sat there. sipped tea, looked up at the blue sky through the leafy canopy overhead and observed a butterfly’s graceful path through the garden.”
As uncomforable it can seem sometimes to allow for this Sacred Idleness at a time when there’s more to be done than feels humanly possible, it’s importance has never been more clear to me. When all I can bring myself to do is nothing much of anything, that’s got to be OK. Lindsey Mead shared an inspiring story at the Collaborative that rings of this truth and clarity too.
Have you ever been really clear on something and at the same time you felt a haze lingering? I’m in that haze right now and although it’s kind of strange and uncertain, it’s still feels very very clear.
amy zPosted at 13:48h, 06 August
"I’m realizing too that being in a really good place doesn’t mean you are going to feel good all the time." Holy cow, does this speak to me. I feel guilty when I don’t feel good despite all that is wonderful in my life (and there is a LOT that is wonderful). I feel guilty for not always relishing every second, despite my best efforts, and for lowing in a bad mood over something seemingly inconsequential. Thank you for this post, and for giving me the courage to give myself permission to "relax into my down." Note to self: dig out Simple Abundance and start reading it again. Thank you!
LindseyPosted at 17:42h, 06 August
Clear and hazy?
Yes. That is as good a description of where I am right now than any I’ve come up with myself. And you are right that the ups and down are just part of the deal, and to seek to eliminate the downs is folly. Frankly I think it would take away from the ups as well (at least for me).
Love your words. Every day, but especially these. Thank you.
TuridPosted at 08:40h, 13 August
Beautifully written. I am so grateful that I've found your blog. When I can't find my words, you surely help me in the right direction. Thank you.
BlossomCottagePosted at 06:34h, 16 August
Thank you, thank you, thank you. "Clarity" was my word for this year. It was comforting to know that "Clarity can come in a warm yet hazy shape-shifting glow and still be clear enough." I've been on a voyage of self-discovery and self-love this summer and that has helped me see more clearly who I am and how I feel about that, and I am yet, still not very clear… but shape-shifting.
Also thank you for reminding me of 'Simple Abundance". I had one of those Sacred Idleness days this last Saturday but I spent it holed up in the bedroom on the computer, just checking emails and exploring sites….feeling unconected from my normal duties as housewife, mother, cook, fixer of all things. Although my family is grown, they still request a lot of my attention, I still have one living at home. But had I read the August 14 entry of Simple Abundance I may have spent more time in the studio instead of on the computer.
Also, since I am a "doer" I find it hard to be as Sarah said and just "be". I think that is my lesson for this year…clarity in just "BEING" and if I am in the "doing" to just "be" in the doing….such as when I am painting.
I find it so hard to just be "Okay" with being idle and just relaxing but I am getting better at it after 60 plus some years of being so driven.
JuliaPosted at 16:15h, 16 September
These were just the words i needed to read this morning. My mind has been barking at me to do, do, do but what i really want is to just sit in quiet and breathe and sip tea and stare at whatever is in front of me and listen to the rain. Our hearts are always speaking to us, we just need to slow down long enough to listen. Reading this put words to what my heart has been whispering.
Thank you for all the inspiration, Tracey. I am so grateful for people like you.
p.s: I just love the photos you took of Kelly Rae's pregnant belly—they're just beautiful. She's one lucky girl to have had such beauty captured. I felt such a twinge of longing when i looked at those shots…it seems my heart is wanting a photo shoot. Someday.