A Mother's Metamorphosis

It’s no mystery that in the past few weeks there has been some touch and go moments on the motherhood home front around here. Although I haven’t exactly explained it, I think my images have done the talking for me. It’s been difficult to put my finger on but I can say that it hasn’t been comfortable. Just when you think you’ve hit your stride, one or both of your kids will slide into some new phase and you’re caught not looking and loose your balance. Sometimes you’re left reeling only to struggle to regain composure while other times you find yourself flat on your face. You’re nodding your heads aren’t you?

In my case, for this go round at least, I think it’s time to shed some old skin I haven’t been ready to let go of yet. It makes me emotional just thinking about it. I’m not being the best mom I can be and I know better than anyone that it’s time I take some strides forward. Big ones. And as I do, I must leave what’s not working behind me. That should feel good. And I’m sure it will. But it also means forging into new, unfamiliar territory and that can be terrifying.

So, as I gather my courage to press on, I am slowly seeing my girls, my incredible daughters, for who they are, not for who I think they should be. Wow. That’s a doosie. Even in our toughest moments when we lock horns, face off, stare each other down, I know I am looking square into their strengths, and even more intimidating their individuality. They are who they are and they are not me. And thankfully, they will never be me. They will never be anyone but themselves. It may sound simple and obvious but the truth is that it feels huge to see it now with my own eyes and feel it with my own heart, that everything they are becoming is unto themselves and not unto me. That I am feeling so melancholy and even conflicted through it all must mean that I am experiencing a pretty significant motherhood rite of passage.

I am reading a book called Your Child’s Strengths: Discover Them, Develop Them, Use Them by Jenifer Fox (provided by the Parent Bloggers Network) which has pretty much sparked an inferno of epiphanies for me. Although I tend to poke around books and take from them what I feel I need to learn-that’s one of my strengths I guess-by reading through the pages of the book, I have been inspired to better appreciate my girls for who they are. I want to learn how to focus on their strengths and discover the innate, unique gifts they carry, savoring both the sweet and salty of what they bring to the banquet table of life. It just might be the biggest challenge to date but I know it’s worth any discomfort I feel as I stretch from this tight motherhood cocoon into a lovely winged creature with the grace and courage enough to share the endless sky with my butterfly girls.

Do you have a shot to share today that makes your heart want to take flight?