13 Sep I am Enough from Kyra Dosch-Klemer
It’s so easy to not feel like enough. It’s so easy to focus on our shortcomings, our faults, the cracks in our being. The things that people might see. The things that might make someone love us a little less. Why is that so easy? I’m not sure but that’s not what this is about. Because our shortcomings aren’t what matter. Sure, they are a part of us, but they’re not what make us soar. They’re not what make us love and laugh and create. Do we have to face them sometimes? Of course? So that we can move them aside, knock them over, and BE ENOUGH.
Being enough is everything. It’s action. It’s feeling. It’s choice. It’s letting go. “I AM NOT PERFECT. I AM ENOUGH!” And sometimes, well, sometimes that’s more than enough.
I have a husband who loves me and encourages me to be the artist that he knows I am, a daughter who needs me and adores me and relies on me to make her world safe and fun and engaging. I have a giant family filled with love for me. And I for them. Friends who are there. They are all enough. I am enough.
In between creating new imaginative projects for my daughter, emailing existing and possible design clients, cooking healthy whole meals, meditating in mundane household tasks, I pause and linger in moments. I gently sit in moments of beauty like the sun hitting the third and fourth floorboards in the hallway in the morning. Like the smell of the honeysuckle that breezes up as I head outside with the dogs. Like the sound of the leaves crunching under our feet and the difference with each footstep and the fact that it feels early for this beautiful sound. Like the way his smile lights up the room when he walks through the door. Like the magic in a tutu and little legs dancing across the floor. Sometimes I snap them with a camera and share them (I am an artist!). Sometimes they sit with me all day and sustain a sense of peace in me. Sometimes they blow away instantly but I’m changed by them. They’re a part of me before they’re gone. They make me who I am. They make my experience enough. They make me enough.
I am true. I am honest. I am compassionate. I am a mother. I am a lover. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. I love. I feel. I seek. I sacrifice. I compromise. I strive. I create. I am a dreamer. I fear. I am brave. I stumble. I get up. I learn and grow. I evolve. I am enough.
Knotted hair that won’t stay smooth, lines forming around my eyes as I enter my late thirties, laundry in heaps because folding isn’t fulfilling. I am enough.
Bills and a depleting savings account. Jobs trickle in but never enough. Building my dream. Building too slowly. I am enough.
Patience lost and then regained. Tears wiped and spirits lifted. I am enough.
Calls left unmade. Cards left unsent. Creating a masterpiece. I am enough.
Projects started, artwork imagined. Reality of time and piles of unfinished. I am enough.
Plans for the future. Our future. Our child’s future. I am enough.
Dates cancelled. Plans changed. Hands held. I am enough.
Stories told. New verses, new characters. Nerves soothed. I am enough.
Protector of stories. Hidden in mischief. Dirty hands and smiles. I am enough.
Beautiful laughter. Impromptu dance parties. Shared dreams. I am enough.
I am not perfect. I am enough.
Kyra Dosch-Klemer is a web designer, artist, and dreamer striving to expose the natural beauty and simplicity found in ordinary moments. I seek to illuminate the sublime elegance often concealed within the mundane in order to heighten awareness of the moment through the beautiful stillness and magic that is present in most moments. This is realized through emphasis on the natural state of things. I aim to honor the purity in my art as well as in life, whether it is in the music I listen to, the items in my home, or the food I feed my family. Purity, as a concept, permeates my life. You can view some of her design work at www.whykyra.com. Sometimes she blogs at www.whykyra.com/crouching.