life in a fishbowl

life in a fishbowl

circa summer 2006

Working on my new book has found me digging through the archives of my life. My photos, my journals, my blog, my motherhood story. It’s a blessing to go back now. To have a reason to reread chapters from the beginning of my life as a mother. To be encouraged to remember where I’ve been and how far I’ve come.

It’s amazing though that although I have documented so much of it, there is so much I have forgotten. How sometimes photos or little snippets of stories remind me of a time, a place or an experience that’s I feel might be on the very edge of my memory. Until I approach it in hopes to see more clearly, only for it to move further and further away from my recollection. Like a dream. Only it’s not a dream. It’s my life. And it’s not all remembered. Not anymore.

It makes me that much more thankful for what I do remember and the documentation I do have. I treasure the stories I have told so many times that my daughters can recite them verbatim. That some pictures carry the milestones and others will symbolize adventures while many will fall somewhere in the middle and serve as a record of our everyday life.

No photo taken was a waste. No journal entry or blog post ever meaningless. None too hopeful, too happy, too content. None too honest, too hopeless, too raw. I shared a lot (good and bad) and I am glad for it. It’s what I have now. And for the parts I can’t pull up from memory alone, it’s all I have and it’s what I will continue to rely on to stir up all the memories of my life as a mother. And, I might even start taking more pictures. If that is even possible.

What memories are you documenting these days? I would love to see or hear about a recent favorite memory in the making.

  • shelbi
    Posted at 06:24h, 16 August Reply

    my oldest just turned 18. my youngest just turned 5….a 7 and 13 year old in between. i feel like i should have this 'mothering thing' down by now tracey, but every day i struggle just to get my head around the answers. lol. i still have none. i just keep trudging through it, feeling my way around. learning each day, by 'heart'. motherhood has been a blessing – even through the harder days. it's made me a better person. i'm thankful for other moms like you, who celebrate it and document it….i want to be better at recording the moments, the mundane, every day moments that make up the life of a mother….they are precious. xoxo

  • Meg
    Posted at 01:23h, 17 August Reply

    awe, love this! Our little Lily is just smitten with her two big sisters, and they are constantly finding ways to snuggle with her and "take care" of her. So, the memories I'm trying to catch? When the girls cuddle up to her and she looks up and them and just beams. Gets me every time 🙂

  • Radish38
    Posted at 03:38h, 17 August Reply

    Tracy, I am sorry that I could not find your email address. I wanted to say to you how I appreciated your taking the time that you did on the PI chat to talk about how I would love to sell some of my photography. The group spent 45 minutes off and on talking about it. I truly appreciate both your interest and the interest of the guest blogger, and the group. People came up with some very pertinent answers. Especially I liked, do you have anything to sell, and does anyone know you want to sell something. Of course the answers were no. But I am reviewing a lot of my thoughts and true feelings on the matter. As my daughter said, Mother, do you REALLY want to sell something? I am working on postcards which feel really none threatening.

    I look forward to the Art of Composition.

  • Tia Tuenge
    Posted at 04:43h, 17 August Reply

    As it happens I was going through the photos on my computer today looking at pictures of my daughter when she was little for a book I'm working on. Even though my feisty little gal is only 8 seeing her as a baby, at 2, 3 and 4 made my kind of sad. While I have loved each stage I still can't believe how quickly the time is passing. Looking forward to your book. I love your 'I am enough' project. Best wishes.

  • Heather K
    Posted at 21:00h, 19 August Reply

    Recently I took a snapshot of a pair of superballs in our snack cupboard, left there by my 8-year-old daughter who loves her treasure collections. In May I started a blog myself and, as a result, have taken more photos than usual of ordinary life. Someday I will look back and wonder at how much I've forgotten, just like you.

  • Jolynn
    Posted at 21:21h, 24 August Reply

    I'm taking a journaling class and I'm using that class to create scrapbook pages from my daughter's wedding. I want to capture everything while it's fresh in my mind. She was just married last month. I created a journal at the start of the wedding planning process (March) and took photos of the details that would make up the day. I played wedding planner and mother of the bride. The wedding was at my house in my back yard gardens. You see wedding photos about the items all pulled together, but not how they got their individually. Somethings I had made – like her guest book using her engagement photos. I want to be able to tell the story about how her wedding shoes inspired the colors for her bridal shower cake. Blue- peacock feathers and bling – I threw her a lingerie shower and the cake maker made her cake to look like a corset. I took photos thru out the cermony as well. I'm just waiting on the professional photographers photos before I start building the wedding pages. I wish I had started this process when they were little. But at least I am starting somewhere.

  • tiffany
    Posted at 06:21h, 05 September Reply

    Until I approach it in hopes to see more clearly, only for it to move further and further away from my recollection. Like a dream. Only it's not a dream. It's my life. And it's not all remembered. Not anymore.-cartier jewelry

  • Jen
    Posted at 03:10h, 09 September Reply

    This is so poignant and beautifully written – and it so perfectly captures why I believe so many people (especially parents) have turned to blogging. It's an opportunity to capture those precious life moments and memories that will otherwise quickly fade to gray. I'm very thankful to have a "record" of such a large portion of my children's lives. I so wish that my mother had been able to do something similar. I can only hope the things that I've written and the photos I've taken will serve as a memento for my children … long after I'm gone.

    Current memories in the making?

    Life everyday. Times go so fast and kids change so quickly. I'm just trying to savor it all.

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