On Growing Up

16 Jun On Growing Up

I have started a million posts lately and have yet to finish even one and yet, because I so desperately want to get something down, I will at least start with this image. It’s one that takes my breath away. And it prompted me to at least try to share my thoughts.

June is always a challenging month; busier than the holiday and more emotionally charged. June means transitions, milestones, and endings. June brings a change in weather, attitude, and outlook. June is the start of summer and at the same time is the end of all that the other seasons brought. It’s the end of quantities known and the beginning of so much unknown. June is excitement and reluctance, anticipation and hesitation, exhaling and holding our breath. I suppose it’s no wonder that it’s been difficult to write about it. And because this June brings an end of an era (my baby is promoting out of Elementary School and into Middle School) it makes it feel even bigger than usual.

With each passing year I feel the intensity of what I call the push and pull get stronger. I see my girls both wanting to grow up and become more independent while at the same time both looking over their shoulders, making sure they don’t get too far ahead. Making sure I’m still in sight. They push me away, I want to pull them back. I push them along, they pull me back.  Sometimes I am filled with happiness about it all. Other times I feel so heartbroken. And so it has gone since they were babies.

I came across this quote thought of no better way to express the emotion of it all. Leave it to The Wonder Years to say it better than I ever could.

“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what’s to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn’t have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves… for growing up.”

*sob*