the best of me

the best of me

The weekend was spend sorting, clearing, cleaning, and decorating, just me and my little family. We didn’t have places to go. No people to see. Just us. Together. Taking care of life.

For as much as I LOVE non-rushed, pajama weekends like this one, I was out of sorts. Cranky, crabby, and a little on edge. It doesn’t mean much. It is what it is. And yet as I sit here tonight, reflecting on the last few days and I am grateful to have had some time to decompress, order easy holiday cards (nothing very clever this year), finish trimming the tree, do laundry, empty closets, and dust; among a number of other fairly inconsequential things. Nothing can clear the cob webs quite like engaging in these tasks of tidying.

I can tell you one thing, I feel a lot better than I did when I began. That’s progress.

When I got a look at this photo my 7yo daughter snapped of me this morning, with no prompting at all, I felt like it said everything. That I’m tired. That I’m feeling a little funky. That I have more work to do than seems feasible. That I have a million creative things I’d love to engage in that I keep moving to the end of the to-do list. That I have more clutter to clear than should be legal. But most important, what I see in this shot is that, above all else, I am hopeful. Full of love. Grateful for who, what and where I am right now in my life.

I’m sharing this as my best shot today because it speaks volumes. I feel like with the year coming to an end, the best way to close it out is to just be me. Whatever it looks like, it’s enough.

What images share a story of you today?

26 Comments
  • jill conyers
    Posted at 11:02h, 13 December Reply

    No images of me (that's a whole other topic LOL) but I wanted to share how much your post resonates with me. "Just be me" and "I am enough" are part of the inspiration behind what will probably be my one little word for 2011. Embrace.

  • Christa
    Posted at 13:13h, 13 December Reply

    Thanks for just putting it all out there, Tracey. There must be something in the air – I had the same sort of weekend here. My post photos from yesterday say it all – the ducks in the rain, the darkness with a little light still held. It's that time of the year – sitting, waiting for the light to come… Good to know we are all in it together.

  • MelissaD
    Posted at 13:13h, 13 December Reply

    It's been a LONG time since I played along with BSM, and I am SO excited to be back! "I am enough" has sustained me through a crazy month of moving across the country with my little family, settling in to a whole new routine. I hope y'all enjoy this shot of my 2.5 yo enjoying her 70 degree Texas weather (in December!).

    Sunshine and Wind

  • Trish
    Posted at 14:48h, 13 December Reply

    Adorable!

  • rawqueen
    Posted at 15:12h, 13 December Reply

    I love this photo and can't believe it is the work of a 7 year old. I posted an image yesterday that speaks volumes about our Jamaican life.
    I am so grateful for blogs and having an outlet to share my authentic self. Give thanks for sharing yours!

  • Dotti
    Posted at 15:58h, 13 December Reply

    I am so impressed that your younger daughter took this wonderful photo! Kudos to her! And thanks for sharing what all of us are feeling right now.

  • tara
    Posted at 16:15h, 13 December Reply

    You really don't want to see a picture of me today. I literally had to stuff tissues up my nostrils this morning.
    I took this self-portrait a few days ago (prompted by Picture Holidays, thank you!). I'm focusing my energy on feeling like this again…
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/impossibletask/5241706925/in/set-72157625458817213/

  • lifeineden {amy}
    Posted at 16:58h, 13 December Reply

    Those crabby-for-no-real-reason days are hard — I'm having quite a few of them lately too. But accomplishments, no matter how minor, help to brighten my outlook too.
    I think it is a lovely, authentic shot of you. I love the little smile she caught (and the pigtails, so jealous!). I'm frustrated at pushing many things to the end of my list too. At some point, I think we just have to insist they come earlier — but priorities are priorities I suppose.
    I haven't any shots to tell anything about me, but I'm working on reverb-ing and seeing what I learn.

  • sweetsalty kate
    Posted at 17:56h, 13 December Reply

    You are so sweet, and your girl captured you just perfectly. I love the ponytails.

  • Marcy Massura
    Posted at 18:11h, 13 December Reply

    I am right there with you friend. But as I always say 'better to be busy than bored'. So I am even grateful for my stress. 🙂

  • shelbi
    Posted at 18:19h, 13 December Reply

    There is real beauty in this post. It's so true. this is the stuff of life. 'what if this is as good as it gets' (Jack Nicholson)….I think with age, comes wisdom. an 'accepting' of our life for what it really is. when you find that place, it's magic. it's your heart and soul and mind all finally connecting the dots at the same time – and at once – you know- without any reservations, it's really all gonna be ok.( love that picture of you btw).

    xo

  • Joanna
    Posted at 18:45h, 13 December Reply

    I love how raw you feel about your photo. What resonated with me was how you said you had a million creative things you wanted to engage in but they kept falling to the end of the list. Being creative is so fulfilling and to have other things to do before you can feel free to escape with the creative things can feel quite restraining. I am glad though that you still feel hopeful. that is why I keep coming back to your blog!

    My BSM is about Snow, Snow, Snow.

  • Karen D
    Posted at 19:13h, 13 December Reply

    The truth in the picture is the best part of it and you look lovely.

  • Courtney Walsh
    Posted at 21:02h, 13 December Reply

    Love it. Love that what you are feeling is exactly what so many of us are feeling right now. End of the year madness has kicked in full force. Yow. You look beautiful…and I never would've thought you looked tired!! 🙂

    I'm so glad I found your blog.

  • Katie @ cakes, tea and dreams
    Posted at 23:27h, 13 December Reply

    Love this photo, and this post. You ARE enough.

  • Amy Jo
    Posted at 00:56h, 14 December Reply

    You look so adorable! And there is a look of calmness about you that makes me smile. Very well done, young lady!

    My image is more a story of my baby, who is growing faster than I can click the shutter.

  • kerry
    Posted at 01:48h, 14 December Reply

    What a cute shoot…..I think you look simple-sweet-casual-refreshed…….great post.

  • Kelly
    Posted at 02:42h, 14 December Reply

    really beautiful shot, tracey. you look like you are glowing from within. your daughter has a great eye! been a while since i've had a bsm, but i caught a great shot of the neighborhood yesterday: http://happyshackdesigns.blogspot.com/2010/12/glimpse-of-neighboorhood.html

  • kalanicut
    Posted at 18:54h, 14 December Reply

    You make tired look pretty damn good. 😉 I shudder to think a photo could be taken of me today. Ack. Maybe this feeling you are having is a natural one many of us feel at this time of year. I seem to be doing a lot of big thinking, without really intending to…an accounting, reorganization, cleansing, etc. 2010 has been fabulous and horrible all at once…a pretty normal year, likely. But I am putting away the good memories in my treasure chest and the rest I am gladly bidding farewell to…holding on to hope, good humor, kindness and nobility. Warmest wishes to you and your family this holiday season.

  • amy
    Posted at 20:17h, 14 December Reply

    this is absolutely perfect. you look…beautifully perfect. makes me teary.

  • CheyAnne
    Posted at 16:31h, 15 December Reply

    wonderful post, about the crazy feelings everyone feels at some time and like you said, it's just what it is. Love the photo your daughter took.
    peace n abundance,
    CheyAnne

  • kristal
    Posted at 02:55h, 16 December Reply

    Longing for a calm pajama weekend! More clutter to clear than should be legal…I like it! So true for my house as well. Always feels good to have some visual space. Opens up the creative flow, I think. I cam home Friday evening and got to pitching and organizing because the clutter was making me crabby big-time. Felt much better afterwards…and was much nicer to my loved ones. 🙂

    Love your honesty & the pic.

  • Aia
    Posted at 16:08h, 20 December Reply

    i can so relate! but you look beautiful amid your frustrations!

    i want to thank you for all your inspiration this past year, tracey. form shutter sisters to your blog, to classes @ big picture, i have learned so much for you & the community. i have made a daily change in myself, to be enough, as you have shown me how to do. and i will continue on in my journey through 2011.

    happy holidays & a joyous new year to you & your family!

  • Aia
    Posted at 16:09h, 20 December Reply

    oops forgot a shot 🙂

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/aclamp/5277014019/

  • Bahiehk
    Posted at 14:51h, 04 January Reply

    Really enjoyed this post Tracey. Simple and true. Linked it here on my blog!!! http://ow.ly/3wW6Y Enjoy.

  • Jennifer Hagedorn Dizon
    Posted at 18:32h, 09 July Reply

    And around almost 2 years later I stumble upon this post. A random choice as I glanced through your blog and its categories. What's so magical about it? It resonates with me, a lot, now. What a reminder! What a wonderful story that tells of the ordinary things that are so real – the laundry, the dust, the crabbiness, the things we need to sort out, the tasks that need to get done; the many, many days when all of these things can wear you out. Sometimes when I am stuck or overwhelmed, I try to remember to just take that one step, however small. Never mind all the steps – just take that one step first. Even that is an accomplishment. This photo of you is all about all those little steps and accomplishments. I love what speaks through your eyes. It says simply me, simply life, and you can even wear pigtails, and smile. Smile! Lovely. 🙂 Grateful for this story.

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