12 Apr i am enough from cheri andrews
This is me. No makeup, messy hair, flushed and sweaty from the gym. I am much more comfortable now with the face I see when I look in the mirror. Just like this, I am enough. I am worthy of love, respect, and appreciation. Sometimes I forget that I am worthy. This me can easily lose her sense of self, becoming the person anyone else needs of her at the moment. This me sadly settles for being the doormat everyone uses but no one seems to appreciate. This me can be bold, honest, even brash, trying to be heard above the crowd, to have a voice. Yet this me fears rejection and desperately seeks approval. This is the real me.
This is me. A little makeup, hair neatly brushed into place, a softer version of the bold me who doesn’t like being stepped on. Just like this, I am enough. This me strives to be patient when patience isn’t easy. This me yearns to learn, grow, share, be heard, feel gratitude, practice kindness, love without hesitation, make a difference, and leave the world a better place than she found it. This me wants to free her creative spirit without fear of ridicule, and be accepted as the real artist she was born into this world to be. This is the real me.
I was struck as I thought about “Who is the real me?” by the dichotomy I saw in myself. One minute bold, brash, ready to change the world, the next timid, hesitant, afraid of rejection and ridicule. The play of self-assuredness against self-doubt. The willingness to be out there and be real versus the serious longing to hide behind anonymity.
I feel certain, deep down in my bones, that this is a universal human experience. That we all come to grips with who we are and what our purpose in the world is at different times and in different ways. I’m still struggling, still figuring it out. Still trying to remember that I am worthy even when my immediate world is telling me in no uncertain terms that I am only the doormat I don’t want to be. I know I am so much more than that.
I’m beginning to find the courage to acknowledge the artist in me. To not allow myself to be held down and held back by others who don’t see that beauty, that yearning, that spirit. The brash me wants to go shout it from the rooftops and mountain tops – I AM ENOUGH!!! I AM AN ARTIST!!!
But I’m only just beginning to find that courage. I’m still protecting that tender and tentative artist in me. I’m afraid in so many ways to expose her to those I am closest to – afraid that they won’t understand, or worse yet, that they will scoff and call her silly. Which would undoubtedly send her right back into hiding.
She’s coming out to play here, in this virtual world where she feels safe and secure, where only friends with kind hearts and open minds come to visit. In a way it is sad that she feels more secure here than she feels in her real-world environment. But I know you will understand. Some of you may even relate. She sees you here. She appreciates your love and your understanding and offers it back in kind. Here, we can all shout “This is the REAL Me!”
About Cheri Andrews
Cheri Andrews is a work-at-home attorney, wife, and mother of three teen/young adult daughters. When she isn’t busy reviewing contracts, hitting the gym, chauffeuring, cooking, and various other domestic goddess responsibilities, she loves to dabble in photography and scrapbooking, take online courses, read great books, and continue her journey of self-discovery. Cheri blogs at Scrap Dreams and loves to have new visitors!
starrlifePosted at 10:55h, 12 April
Many parts of this post could be describing me! I posted a bit about this on my own blog (sorry not trying to promote just connect) in My Tiger, My Friend. I can be such a leader at work but when it comes to day to day life I can get tied up in knots and be very insecure. Ironic. Thanks for a great post!
JeannePosted at 15:51h, 12 April
This is great Cheri! I particularly agree with the "I'm afraid in so many ways to expose her to those I am closest to – afraid that they won't understand, or worse yet, that they will scoff and call her silly."
What I am learning is that most of those who don't understand are afraid of how brave we are, and react with their own insecurity. Or, they're just jerks. One of the two.
You are beautiful and worthy!
LeePosted at 16:37h, 12 April
What a wonderful view into you, Cheri. I admire your candour and your honesty, always. You're a brave woman. Indeed, my friend, you are enough!
JakkiPosted at 16:47h, 15 April
I love this! I have two 'me's' too….I've got to understand that BOTH are SO very much ENOUGH. I struggle with both sides but at all times…I love them deeply.
THANK YOU FOR THIS!
MarniePosted at 22:48h, 26 April
ScrapDreams! 🙂 this is great! bravo bravo bravo!
Marnie (from unraveling…. 🙂 )
rift platinumPosted at 06:37h, 21 October
4Story Gold 4Story Gold
Aion Kinah Aion Kinah
Archeage Gold Archeage Gold
Archlord Gold Archlord Gold
Atlantica Gold Atlantica Gold
Blade Soul Gold Blade Soul Gold
Cabal Alz Cabal Alz
DC Universe Cash DC Universe Cash
DDO Platinum DDO Platinum
Dekaron Dil Dekaron Dil
Dofus Kamas Dofus Kamas
Dragon Nest Gold Dragon Nest Gold
Eden Eternal Gold Eden Eternal Gold
Everquest 2 Platinum Everquest 2 Platinum
Everquest Platinum Everquest Platinum
FFxi Gil FFxi Gil
FFxiv Gil FFxiv Gil
Firefall Gold Firefall Gold
Grand Fantasia Gold Grand Fantasia Gold
Guild Wars 2 Gold Guild Wars 2 Gold
Knight Online Gold Knight Online Gold
Last Chaos Gold Last Chaos Gold
Lotro Gold Lotro Gold
Maple Story Mesos Maple Story Mesos
Metin2 Yang Metin2 Yang
Nostale Gold Nostale Gold
Perfect World Gold Perfect World Gold
R2 Online Gold R2 Online Gold
Rappelz Rupees Rappelz Rupees
Rift Gold Rift Gold
Rift Platinum Rift Platinum
Runes of Magic Gold Runes of Magic Gold
Runescape Gold Runescape Gold
Rusty Hearts Gold Rusty Hearts Gold
Shaiya Gold Shaiya Gold
Silkroad Gold Silkroad Gold
Star Wars Galaxies Credits Star Wars Galaxies Credits
Swtor Credits Swtor Credits
Tera Gold Tera Gold
Tibia Gold Tibia Gold
Vindictus Gold Vindictus Gold
WOW MONEY WoW Money
WOW GOLD WoW Gold
Gamegold News Gamegold News
Age of Empires GOLD Age of Empires GOLD