19 Apr weary legs walk on
I have finally found a place where I’m centered and balanced, poised under pressure, and positive beyond measure. A way to begin each morning with a healthy perspective, and a means to hold both calm control and serene surrender throughout my daily comings and goings. It feels like heaven on earth.
So what can I say today, as I stand here – blink blink – having witnessed that place slip through my fingers?
Before spring break I was feeling pretty relaxed perched on the high wire, taking slow and deliberate steps to stay balanced with fairly little effort. But the wire got wobbly pretty fast when I no longer had my days to myself and I had to squeeze in my normal work day into 10 minutes here, 10 minutes there. My concentration broken every other minute, my calming routine forgotten, I fell hard off the wire.
All weekend I sat in the discomfort of where I’m at right now; trying desperately to get back up and balanced. It’s taken me a long while to find and utilize the tools to get me to that place of my own personal nirvana, so it’s no surprise I guess that it might take a little extra time and a lot of patience and self-kindness to find it again as old patterns, habits, thoughts lead me astray.
Alas, exhausted, weary, discouraged, I know the a place where “feel good” exists. It’s the place I want to be. The bad news, I’m not there this morning. The good news, I know that all it takes is to get there again is to keep walking. I will find it soon enough.
Where have you been (physically, emotionally or both)? Got a Best Shot to tell the story?