I remember turning 40 and feeling on top of the world. I felt wise and confident, beautiful and even ageless. So, this is what everyone that had turned 40 before me had talked about? “Life begins at 40” some would say, and I could feel it in my body and my mind. I was ready to begin another amazing chapter of my life.
But, now I’m 46 and I have to say, over the past few years I think I have been mourning the quick-fleeting agelessness I felt at 40. I figured I’d have most of my 40s to feel it. But, that hasn’t been the case. Perhaps it’s because the last few years have brought with them some challenges from personal struggles to body breakdowns to hormonal changes. I mean, at least 2 of the 3 of those do have something to do with my age but for some reason, I just wasn’t anticipating them to happen to me. Not so sudden anyway. It’s been an adjustment, to say the least.
When I got the invite from Susannah Conway to share my thoughts and feelings about my age, and all the awesome things about it, I will admit I laughed out loud. But, it was the kind of laughter that comes from knowing that it was no accident that the invite came now, in the midst of my “adjustment” process. Thinking, reflecting, and writing about all the awesome things that have come with age is exactly what I’ve needed to stop focusing on the negative things and start acknowledging and appreciating all the positive things. I recently read a quote that said something like, “Which side has the greener grass? The side you water.” Well said.
And with that, I am choosing to get out my watering can. It’s true, my age has brought with it so many wonderful gifts. Regardless some of my physical and even some mental complaints (damn you hormones!) I wouldn’t change where I’m at for anything. I am more grounded and self-assured, and sure-footed than I’ve ever been. I’ve got a better outlook. I’m kinder to myself. I’m more resilient in almost every arena. I’m sure of who I am and what I believe. And perhaps where all of these things come to light for me—in the brightest and most beautiful ways—is through motherhood. As I have gotten older, so have my children and I now have two daughters—10 and 16—who I know are benefiting from me being a more experienced and balanced woman than I was when they were younger. I feel more confident in my guidance, more wise in my tutelage, and happier with myself, who I am and where I’m at than I was years ago. And the woman I am now makes the mother that I am now so much better for myself and my girls. I can feel it deep down. And that is an amazing feeling.
Although I might still be adjusting to the older me in body, I can tell you true, that I’m feeling pretty awesome in heart and soul!